But Not From Your Aunt Eloise
Make sure to check out the “NC Dating Listings” to the left of the story and other articles to help give you tips on dating and where to get started. Also look at this slideshow to see what you should wear and not wear on a date.
In Steve Harvey’s book, “Act like a Lady, Think like a Man: What Men Really Think about Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment” you can get dating advice and find out what men are looking for in a soulmate. Or you could just take some advice from an old lady like me. There’s one thing I know for sure and that’s you can’t get married until you have someone to marry. Also, check out theSteve Harvey Showon WXII 12 for more marriage and dating advice. You can also watch his videos to the left to get more advice from him. Watch this video to see what to look out for on dating sites from the Steve Harvey Show.
I get my life’s plans from television and movies where they are mirrored from real life. And now my life is a mirror of a soap opera. But that’s another story! Here are some of my life’s lessons that I’ve learned to follow in the dating world. Most is information from the sources below, but I added my two cents in bold.
The Millionaire Matchmaker: Ceo/Owner Patti Stranger gives good adviceon her show and website. This show is an unscripted series exploring dramas at a matchmaking service for deep pocketed clientele. The show delves into the private life of the service’s proprietress, its persistent staff and the transformations of the demanding customers. Her website will answer your dating questions.
I say before you go looking, get better looking: get a makeover! I know you say, “Oh my hair is fine and so is my makeup.” Guess what? A second opinion is always good. Go to your local spa or even the local JCPenney, Belks and/or Macy’s where they have makeup and can give you tips and bring out those beautiful eyes and luscious lips. Don’t be afraid. Maybe money is tight? If you can’t buy anything now, just let them know you’ll probably be back to pick up what you need at another time.
Don’t know what to wear for your body shape? Watch “What Not To Wear” or check in your local department stores. Again, someone will help you match up clothes, probably better than you thought. Even if you’re just going to the grocery store you could meet a future husband, or vice versa. So don’t wear the pajama bottoms, and guys no warm up pants, with or without the briefs! NO! NO! NO! Don’t go out with clothes you wear at home to clean house or wash the car.
Patti’s Top 10 Commandments of Dating for Women:
1. Travel alone: Women who travel in packs scare off the men. They are too shy to talk to you and won’t cross the women barrier. (Who wants one of their friends trying to pick up the new guy or they may be rude to him and run him away). Wear a beautiful dress or blouse, bring a good book like the DaVinci Code and watch the sports channel. Tell the bartender you’re single and looking, and tip him good he’ll introduce you to everyone.
List of places to go: In big cities or towns drop in around dinner time, or time to get off work: Steak restaurants, cigar bars, wine and beer bars, sporting events, even dance lessons someone may need a dance partner. At sporting events get floor level seats to get close to the rich guys, one girl to maybe six guys. Guys hang out on the weekends cleaning, washing and waxing their cars. Be the damsel in distress and ask if they know how to use the machines or have any change for your money. I’m sure someone is your age in a bible study. Go watch the chorus sing at other church functions at night or movie nights/single nights out for some churches. They put this in the local newspapers! If you want someone religious then go for him but you’ve got to find him first! Who better to introduce you than the preacher, priest, etc?2. Give the 5 second flirt we look and hold for 5 then look away if he is interested he’ll come talk to you. Entice him to talk first. Flirt with your eyes, hair, and/or lips. Then talk after he talks. Do you want him if he’s shy and doesn’t talk? You probably won’t want him. IE: “He’s Just Not That Into You” another movie.3. Don’t waste a guy’s time. If you’re not interested don’t date! Tell them you don’t feel the chemistry and you don’t want to waste their time.4. Dress appropriately dinner at the country club is not in ripped jeans! Ask where you’re going.5. Be on time.6. Be nice Give him all the thank you’s before the date is over and you forget. (IE: The food is great, the restaurant is good, or the concert is great). Men like this.7. You are going to be a mystery to him. Don’t talk about crazy family things or people. (IE: Don’t tell him about Uncle Billy Bob in state prison). Don’t bring up ex boyfriends or husbands. Talk about things that interest you like what you always wanted to do, classes you want to take (dance etc.) maybe he’ll want to go to, or places you want to visit Rome etc. These guys are looking for a wife and mother of his children not just another date.8. Don’t ask him out. He needs to lead. Let him call you, ask you out, pick the table, movie, etc. Even if you are independent, you have to let go during these times.9. Only give one phone number, house or cell, but not both. You are not too easy for him to contact. He has to work for the next date.10. I also let the man talk and be heard. Listen to him so you can respond. Don’t be selfish like most women and just talk about yourself. You’ll find out what he’s interested in. Also, don’t ask questions you don’t want answered. (Ex.: Don’t ask if that dress makes your butt look too big. You don’t want to put him in a bad situation.
1. Places to go meet women: You can go to the bars and clubs (but most have five guys to one woman), local YWCA, gyms and exercise classes. Metaphysical classes like Pilates, yoga and meditation usually have five women to one guy. Get a manie pedi you might not want to, but you’ll be the only man there with a full house of women on Saturday and Sunday’s. Go shopping men!!! You have to think, if I’m a woman where do I go?C. Go to church You say, “well mine doesn’t have anyone my age.” Start visiting other churches. I’m sure someone is your age in a bible study. Go watch the chorus sing at other church functions at night or movie nights/single nights out for some churches. They put this in the local newspapers!!!! If you want someone religious then go for her, but http://www.cheapjerseys11.com/ you’ve got to find her!!! Who better to introduce you than the preacher, priests, etc?2. Forget corny pickup lines it’s old and can make you look stupid. Say your name and ask if she’d like a drink. Or wherever you are how can you be of assistance? Be yourself and attentative to her it’s all about her and not you.3. Chivalry is not dead! Be very nice and a gentleman.4. Rules to scheduling the date. After getting a phone number, don’t call after 10pm. Make sure you have scheduled the date with enough time for her to get ready. (IE: Don’t invite her to an 8pm concert but pick her up at 5:30pm for dinner after her work just finished at 5pm. There is no way she can look that good for you in 30 minutes. You also want her to be relaxed and not crazy!)5. Check in if you aren’t going to see her within the week text or e mail is fine but make sure everything is still set for the weekend date.6. Complement her to break the ice. Does she have food allergies? (You don’t want to make her sick.) Let her talk and be heard. Listen to her so you can respond. Don’t be selfish and just talk about yourself. You’ll find out what she’s interested in. That helps get you more dates and you’ll know what to do on those dates!!!7. Take her somewhere exciting and interesting to her ask movies, theatre, or a concert include dining out. Drinks or coffee are cheap, or look like you’re going to audition her.8. Share dessert it’s exciting you can feed cheap jerseys her a spoonful without over stepping boundaries.9. Ask her out again before you part ways! Saying you’ll call is old. Let them know you’re interested and set up a specific date and time. Make sure to e mail or call later in the week. Say that you’d like to see them that week.10. Friday dinner then Sunday brunch is fine. No last minute door mat invitations. Monday isn’t good either because then you’re showing her maybe you have someone better to see on the weekend. If you want to try online dating then check out these top matchmakers but be careful and follow the internet rules.
Check into Speed Dating. Most cities have advertisements in the papers when they are going to have an event. Couldn’t hurt and you may be surprised.
So there is my advice and I hope you find that perfect one that can be your soulmate. Don’t be scared just get out there. Like Julia Roberts said in “Steel Magnolias”, “I’d rather have a few moments of something than a lifetime of nothing special.”
Yes, I watch entirely too many movies and television but I am enjoying life to the fullest. If I’d sat on my couch at home, instead of deciding on a Wednesday to go see a concert that Friday, I would never have had as much fun as I am now. I’m enjoying the company of only one of those wonderful men now. I decided with a leap of faith to go from North Carolina to San Jose, California with Celine’s words, “Taking Chances” in my head.